Nostalgia is a dirty liar.

you don’t need to worry about me.
i made this list that details exactly
how i plan to get my sh*t together.
wanna see?

one: embrace the fact that i am a ghost with the same vice
as my father’s father’s father.

two: reforget.

three: shut my mind off & let my heart breathe. forget
all the expensive words i know like pentimento and repentance.

four: take a lot of pictures because a camera remembers everything
you tell it to remember but it never has any ideas of its own.

five: don’t worry about what night of the week it is.

six: curse the planet for being full of large & small cruelties.
thank God all my cruelties are small. don’t be sorry about it.

seven: call my brother just to hear him breathing & refuse
to let him be another empty sound: the sound of a lighter flickering.

eight: some of us are born clumsy with words & careless with love. it’s ok.

nine: understand, my hands are the most stubborn part of me.
they give away my secrets without asking all the time.

i’ve resolved to let them keep giving & allow you
to keep taking what they give.

bad love. i’m never going to give you what you want.
but it won’t stop these stubborn hands from typing.

i’m selfish like that sometimes.


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